Did I do enough?

       In just a few short hours, I send my oldest daughter off to BGSU. For the past few weeks my little family has been busy shopping, planning, and preparing for this day. I have been so focused on getting her off to collage that it didn't hit me until this last night. I wasn't prepared to be sad. In fact, I never took much time this summer to really think about.....Her leaving!

      I lay awake last night thinking......Did I do enough? NOPE! Did I prepare her for the journey ahead? NOT ENOUGH! Why was I such a hard ass to her? BECAUSE I AM A JERK! Does she know how proud I am of her? NO WAY SHE COULD! I beat myself up for a few hours before I remembered that was in the past and I couldn't change it now.

     When I really think about it.....She is just two hours away.....No big deal. We can talk, text,or facetime, anytime we want. We will communicate better now than if we were sitting in the same house. This summer she has become my buddy again. We have sat up late nights talking politics, business plans, careers, and sharing gossip about our family. I am sure the highlight of her summer was my 2 hours dissertation on how morally unfair our progressive tax system is....after I had enjoyed a couple of Newcastles. Pure genius on my part, I am sure!

    This weekend, I get to walk through my hallway without tripping over her dorm stuff, Annie Leibovitz, my pup, gets the couch back. Claire gets to step out of her big sister's shadow. And Lex.... well......Lex gets to do whatever she wants. Life will move forward. In just six years Claire will run off to College and I will get to reflect again. Did I do enough? NOPE! Did I prepare her for the journey ahead? MOST LIKELY NOT ENOUGH! Does she know how proud I am of her? SHE BETTER!

    I heard this said once....."never brag about your kids or your bird dog....." So I will not.....YET....but I can say.....Alexcea has, in spite of my less than stellar parenting.....turned out to be a very bright and intelligent young women. Her future looks bright!